Fascinator King Size Lush Throw Moisture-Proof Sensual Blanket - Velvish Merlot 76" x 80"

Sex Blanket Extraordinaire

Texture and material construction: They’re double-sided and each side will absorb substantial amounts (and varieties) of fluids. One side is a free-flowing satin that feels smooth and somewhat chilly on the butt, while the other is “velvish”, which basically translates to suede or short velvet. Think of a nice jacket or couch that you can doodle on with your finger.

Aside from being practical, it’s also pretty damn stylish. The satin has that water-like cool smoothness to it and the entire product has some serious make to it; I don’t imagine it would fray anytime soon. The velvish suede side is more suited to use as covering furniture or having lay around, as it looks more like a quality purchase from Pier 1.

Review Details: I always have it covering my couch (which I masturbate on, as the basement is my domain in my shared house), and it’s comfortable to sit on during the day or standard activities. However, the waterproof layer in between the velvish and the satin sides crinkles like a winter jacket or pair of ski pants. This makes them the perfect habitat for cats, who will try to claim them as their own. I still enjoy sitting on it, as it does the standard job of any throe and protecting the furniture from spills.

Oh, yeah. About them. Spills. I live a messy life and this poor thing has been through the wringer with me in the last few months. Human blood (both menstrual and from a housecat attack), several cups of squirt and miscellaneous vaginal sludge, copious amounts of drool, spaghetti sauce, soda pop, ketchup, grass stains, vomit, baby oil, coconut oil, Vaseline (not used as lube, don’t you ever use it as lube), silicone- and water-based lubes, cat feces (don’t ask), and cat blood (also don’t ask).

Everything washed out cleanly. The oil, however, I had let sit for a while and now there’s a faint shadow, but oils are known to linger if you don’t wash it quickly.

I prefer the satin side of it, even if it does bunch up and slide around more, because it absorbs fluids more readily and generally the material just feels better on bare skin than the faux-suede side. It’s sexy and makes me want to make like a dog and smear my crotch all over it.

The satin tends to move around, though, which might be more hectic for couples or those who do a lot of acrobatic masturbation. The suede side stays in place, but the liquid will bead and slide in droplets. However, this doesn’t mean the satin side doesn’t leave a cold-ish wet spot. It does. But, I typically dump the Throe on the floor, then, and proceed to nap, chill, or sleep, enjoying the dryness under it, and I can deal with washing the Throe in the morning or later that week.

Either way, it offers an incredible piece of mind and should remain a staple in all houses that have sexual activity. Even if I wasn’t nearly as messy as I am, I adore having a clean, anti-lint place to put my dirty toys on, bunch up to towel my lubey fingers off with, or having a settled place to drip lube without worrying about cleaning up. It’s an extra bit of convenience in my life.