I’ll be honest with you, I never thought I’d find myself reviewing a severed man groin for Lovehoney. They’re not something that has ever really appealed to me before, but this one caught the eye of my other half, and since it’s me who usually gets to play with lovely new things, I guess it’s only fair that I indulge his curiosities every now and then. I knew instantly why it appealed to him, the threesome possibilities it offers are hard to ignore! We use most sex toys together as a couple, but there really aren’t all that many that can be used by us simultaneously. This was going to be fun! When it arrived, the postman joked that he hadn’t been able to get anything else in the back of his van. Now, Pat was exaggerating slightly, but the box it arrives in is pretty big! Inside the brown box is the Pipedream box, which features product pictures and a half naked man on it, I guess I’ve seen worse. Inside that, is your new toy, encased in a large polystyrene cover. It weighs 14lbs, so it’s a whole stone of squishy faux body. Once out the box, it was perhaps a little smaller than I thought it was going to be (33cm wide, 28cm long, 11cm high), although *ahem* certain parts of him are undeniably hard to miss! No real preparation needed except for lube, he’s there, he’s ready, and he’s never gonna have a headache! There’s a fair amount of give in the material, which allows you to squish and squeeze him, but his penis is plenty firm enough for you to get a good ride from it. He’s made from ‘realistic feel’ soft elastomer material, which is porous. This is the reason I wouldn’t normal go for an insertable of this making, but I knew I could use this with a silicone cock sleeve, which made me much happier. I have tried it just with a condom though, to get a feel for how he feels, and I can say that he does actually feel pretty darn good! The realistic nature of his penis, and the slight ‘give’ in the material, makes for quite a realistic experience. I can feel the texture, but because he retains body heat well, he feels really good in use. I do find it a bit awkward though, because there’s not enough of him, in the sense that there’s nowhere to put my hands! It’s strange to put them on the bed, it messes with my thrust because the top half of my body is then too low. It’s a shame there’s no torso on this model, I think that would really help me personally. As it is, I use my other half’s shoulders as a gripping point when going solo. I know a lot of people were wondering about the potential of him being ridden and penetrated at the same time. Is it possible? Well yes it is, but we found it to be quite awkward and it raised more than a few giggles in the process. You’re VERY close together when you do this. Obviously, it works well in real life, with a real person, because you can raise legs and hips when needed etc, but he has no legs, he just lies there, flat and uncooperative! It does help if my partner raises him up slightly with his hands, which adjust the angles to be more accessible for us both, but he needs constant support, which is kind of unnatural - I know, I know, humping a lump of fake groin is already an ‘unnatural’ circumstance, but you know what I mean! It works better for us when the OH is standing at the edge of the bed penetrating the ass, and I’m on top facing away from him, although this does mean I’m quite close to the edge of the bed, and believe me, it’s a long way to fall from up there! He can penetrate it when it’s flat on the bed, but that puts him in a much more horizontal position, and over the cock area, leaving no room for my fun! Talking of his penetrable butt, he’s ribbed inside for added texture, and although he's quite tight, he’s quite stretchy too. The cavity is approximately 7 inches, so suitable for many men. I do wonder as to the longevity of his cavity through, after prolonged use. It’s lasting ok so far, but it does look like it will be susceptible to tearing if used too vigorous. My other half likes how he feels, although he did say that it’s not as tight and butt-like as other ass masturbators he's tried in the past. The fact that he’s penetrating something far more realistic, does alter the experience from those provided by in-hand masturbators, it get’s warmer and he likes the kind of bounce-back feeling that the severed groin provides. He’s only used it with a condom, because quite frankly it’d be a nightmare to clean ejaculate from inside it! It’s not the sort of thing that will become your go-to toy, because it requires too much maintenance. Because the material is porous, care needs to be taken to ensure you clean it thoroughly after every use. Normally you’d regularly inspect masturbators and strokers made from this material, to look for signs of deterioration - black spots would indicate mould spores in the surface for example.You can’t visibly see inside this toy though, which is something to bear in mind. You get some lubricant (you must use water based with this product), some toy cleaner and some renewer powder in the box. We’ve washed this in the bath and allowed it to completely air dry, before applying the powder, which is what gives the toy the smooth, non sticky feel to it. So far, this has worked fine, but it is a faff. It does have an odour to it too. It’s typical of this type of material, it’s a rubbery kind of smell. Obviously, because there’s more of it, the smell is stronger than it would be on a small stroker or masturbator. Oh, and it loves collecting fluff and hairs! I can’t stop slapping and spanking it when it’s out to play, it’s just so whack-able! It’ll be great for trying out new impact toys before they meet real flesh! I’m also excited by the prospect of pegging practice too. We’re not quite at the pegging stage yet, but now I know I can practice on severed man groin, I’ll feel more ready and confident when the day comes! Fella’s, I understand the nerves and self-consciousness of first time penetration, now it’s something I’ve thought about doing myself! It’s good fun, but ultimately it’s an expensive bit of kit, when by it’s nature, won’t last a huge amount of time (safely anyway). If the maintenance, storage and porosity issues don’t bother you, you might well like this chunk of man!
